It is because people have made me feel like this, and the terror of getting followed by those emotions really sucks all your energy, and then you just hate everything at once.

Let’s face the truth for once and all. We all claim to be kind and carry empathy in our hearts, but just look around and tell me, ‘Are you actually kind, or are you just making yourself believe that you are kind?’

I know this question can be triggering but answer it. Try reflecting on yourself, the real you. I know myself, and I know that deep down, I just try to be as kind as I can be, but sometimes, I fail. I yell at people, and I say wrong things just to put them down. And trust me, I hate this version of me, but see, there’s a catch.

The catch is that this is a part of me but not the whole me, yet most of the days, I beat myself up for being a little mean to someone. I call myself self-aware, but too much awareness has always backfired on me. I have to sit in self-loath and guilt where I just lose myself every second. 

So, are you self-aware? Or rather, just say, self-destructor? Well, my self-awareness is quite detrimental, and this evaluation is also an adversity of my so-called ‘self-awareness’. I guess knowing too much about yourself comes with a cost.

You know the reasons behind all your issues, and when you can’t fix the shit, you just feel more miserable. I mean, how much of a failure am I, who cannot even fix an issue when I know the problem and the way to solve it? Yay! This is where self-hate talk starts, and soon, you will start hating your own reflection. All you can see in yourself are some great flaws that can never be mended. 

Also Read: Earth Is Getting A New Moon- A Philosophical Outlook!

Trust me, it is tiring to be the one who knows themselves. There is no mystery left to solve, yet you find new things about yourself, which leads to the same old trauma you had since your teenage.

I feel like I am a time bomb, and the clock is running fast, and soon, it will blast me into pieces that I won’t be able to pick and fix. Ah! What should I do? What would you do? What would a self-aware person do?

I think, therefore, I am – said René Descartes, who, by the way, is a great philosopher. However, he never said anything about thinking too much. Maybe he never thought that hard, or maybe he was sane enough to give some great philosophies to the world and not get eaten by his own head.

My thoughts are the reason I am depressed, but those thoughts only make me. So, do you see the irony here? It’s frustrating as hell. Don’t you see this? 

Well, let me paint a picture for you. Just a disclaimer: the picture can be ugly and may trigger you. Imagine that you had a shitty day at work. You were yelled at by your boss for a very minor mistake, and you got a call from your friend asking for some help.

You try to be nice and kind and help your friend even when you’re feeling shitty inside, and you don’t bother them by not sharing whatever happened to you. Now, you do this every now and then, but one day, you are on the edge, and you yell at someone who just asks you to fill up a form for them because they are not able to understand it.

Also Read: September: A month for Suicide Prevention, 2024

The clock is ticking, and within a few seconds, you know that you are being an arsehole for yelling without any reason. You feel sorry and you apologize. Then, you try to make up for it by helping them fill out the form.

However, you’re too self-aware, so the guilt stays on. Yay! It stays, and your self-aware brain reminds you of this again and again, even after weeks. Now, you know what your brain is trying to do, and then you try to make yourself understand that whatever you did, there was a reason, and you did apologize. And now this mess in your head gets tangled and spirals.

You remember the days when people make you feel shitty. You can feel the moment when nobody showed up for you when you needed them most. You feel bad for yourself, and then it hits you. You made someone feel bad, and now, again, you are the monster.

The monster gets bigger and bigger as it feeds on guilt and regrets. Then monsters make your head their home and slowly eat you alive. See, I don’t know when the monster came in. I don’t know whether it knocked on my door or not. I just know that it’s there, and it’s real.

The monster is real, and you can’t say otherwise. I guess, all of my cages are mental and I am trapped in it forever. Look at this shit I have written. It’s all about me, which perfectly concludes that the monster in my mind is not anyone but me. And I know this about me.

I am living with this information about myself. I cannot deny it and I can’t even dare to fight it because it will lead me to the same path where I see myself as the wrong one and despise myself for my entire life. I have taken over my head completely. It’s all in my head. It’s all me – the real monster in my mind. 

What if I told you that Earth will have two moons? Before you say it is not possible, let me be clear that this is actually happening. Earth is getting a new moon on 29th September 2024, and this has been the talk of the show for I don’t know how many days. Now, on the one hand, it is one of the iconic and rare celestial events, but on the other hand, this new moon has so many aspects that can provide great life lessons.

Today, I am not going to create suitable headings to make my blog structured. This blog is going to be a deep pondering upon this rare celestial event through a philosophical lens that can actually change your life for good.

To start with, let me clarify some facts about the new moon. As we know, there are so many asteroids roaming around in space. Occasionally, some of them get caught in Earth’s gravitational pull and orbit for a time, becoming temporary moons.

One of the asteroids, named 2024 PT5, which belongs to the Arjuna Belt (Arjuna’s Chariot), is now almost ready to become Earth’s temporary new moon because it is unable to escape Earth’s gravitational pull due to negative geocentric energy.

That is not all; this rare event can happen again in the future around 2055, even if the asteroid may leave Earth’s orbit.

Disclaimer: As per Space.com, “Unfortunately, during its occupation around Earth, 2024 PT5 won’t be visible to the vast majority of skywatchers.”

Also Read: September: A month for Suicide Prevention, 2024

More About Earth Is Getting A New Moon:

Now, this huge and iconic event reminds me of an old saying: “change is the only constant.” Look at this new moon as new people enter your life. These new connections are important as they redefine your identity. Having said that, just like this celestial event, change and transformation in our lives can be both daunting and exhilarating.

The worst it can do is create friction in your existing settings, but if you don’t give it much power, it will never change your natural dynamics. And I guess this is how we will grow, as there will be challenges that will lead us to unknown paths of self-discovery.

Now, I am going to defy my own words and bring your attention to the second aspect of this event. Even though Earth is getting a new moon, we all know it is only temporary.

What’s permanent is the 4 billion-year-old moon that has been revolving around the Earth and helping make it a livable planet. Therefore, even though change is the only constant, some things are there for a lifetime, and you cannot deny that.

If I could speak on behalf of the 4 billion-year-old moon that has made Earth its whole existence, I would say, “It is a little scary to see some random asteroid entering Earth’s orbit and grabbing all the attention. However, it is a temporary thing that might come back yet will never stay forever.”

On a personal note, I have loved and lost people. Even today, I am always on a tightrope of relationships. I always fear that someone better would come and replace me in the lives of the people I love the most. Similarly, I know you have been through the same where you couldn’t understand the relationship’s aftermath. I also know that there will come a time when we will leave some places, people, and even parts of ourselves that others used to admire the most.

The fear of getting replaced for so many of us is so real that every day we are in survival mode, and trust me, it is too exhausting. There have been times when many of us could no longer recognize ourselves in the mirror anymore. It is like fighting a war that is only against us and defeating our true selves. Does it have to be so scary? That is why I always remind people to embrace change.

Let everything that comes to you become something extraordinary. It is you who makes even small things important and meaningful. You cannot live and expect to have zero friction. For me, I cannot trust someone who has never accepted the changing phases of their life.

They say that change is inevitable, but Dewey’s Pragmatism makes us realize that change is not only inevitable but also essential for progress. Our understanding of truth and reality evolves through our experiences and interactions with the world.

In the end, I would say that Earth getting a new moon is special. It teaches us dual aspects of life: Change is important, yet it can be a little unsettling. I would like to add another fold to this event: even if a new moon leaves its impressions, it can never be as important as the permanent moon. However, you must not close your doors because with each person you meet, there are lessons and learnings that shape your future self.

Before I leave, I would like to ask you one thing: What if you were like a new moon in someone’s life, and even though you know you will be leaving the orbit, would you want to come back again for another appearance?

Also Read: Why Interpersonal Relationships Are Always So Overwhelming And Heartbreaking?

September- A month for Suicide Prevention: Just like an ordinary day, I was returning from my office. I was really tired, and things were a little off. While crossing a pedestrian bridge, all I could think about was jumping from there. Don’t worry; I didn’t do it, and that is one of the reasons I am able to talk about this today. 

I am glad that I did not let that thought take over because I have come a long way in my life. However, that day, I had the worst day of my life. That feeling of giving up was so real, and if I had not snapped out of it, you know the rest. 

If you are reading this, let me tell you one thing. Every one of us has the same kind of thought at least once in our lifetime, yet nobody talks about it openly. 

So, if you resonate with this, I am sorry that you felt like giving up. However, I am proud that you made it through, and now that you are here, let’s ensure not to let anyone, including yourself, cloud our minds with the same thought.  Therefore, as people are observing this month of September- A month for Suicide Prevention, I would like to take this opportunity to talk about it openly.

Scary Facts We All Should Acknowledge: September- A month for Suicide Prevention

Suicide has been a taboo for an eternity. People do not talk about it openly because they are so scared. Sadly, the news of suicide is always hidden by families because they think that it will attract unwanted attention and embarrassment. But do you think that a person killing themselves is embarrassing? I don’t think so.  That is why,  International Association for Suicide Prevention observes the entire month of September as September- A month for Suicide Prevention

For me, it is horrifying, and I would not want any single being to go through a horrible time where their thoughts are hanging between life and death. However, the reason people don’t talk about it enough or hide it is that no one is ready to understand that just like any physical illness, mental illness, or disturbance can be fatal. 

I have also heard people talking about the fact that those who take their lives are weak. Yes, their mind gets weak, and it becomes difficult for them to live, but to make such a horrifying decision, I must agree that it requires lots of guts and strength. And I have been there, too, so I know that the pace of my heartbeat increases whenever the thought of taking my life crosses my mind. 

Now, let’s take a look at the alarming facts that show why it’s so important to bring this issue into the open. 

Let’s Talk Facts | September- A month for Suicide Prevention

The moment I started researching about the suicide number in India and worldwide, I could go through more than two or three websites. It was so heart-wrenching to know that so many people lost the battle with their minds and could not make it through the hard days. 

That is why suicide is the 10th leading reason of death in countries like the USA. When it comes to India, the numbers definitely vary, but they are equally concerning. 

As per Science Direct, India’s rates of youth suicide are some of the highest in the World. Moreover, suicide rates in 15-29-year-old Indian men are estimated to be twice that of the global average, and rates in young Indian women are nearly six times as high. 

Another thing that Science Direct tried to throw light on is the fact that suicide between 13 and 29 years was because of the role played by dysfunctional relationships. At the same time, suicide by people between the age group 15–24 years old was majorly derived from interpersonal issues and emotional dysregulation. 

Now, there are so many hidden reasons as well that lead to suicide, and no one can justify these reasons. However, we can always make sure to make someone’s life less difficult so that their battles are not so heavy that they decide to end the game forever. Let this September be the month of change as we observe ‘September- A month for Suicide Prevention’.

Change The Narrative | September- A month for Suicide Prevention

Firstly, you need to know that every single being on earth who is breathing today has tried to kill themselves or at least have thought of doing the same. Secondly, suicide is avoidable, but often, the signs are lost in translation and missed.  

Now, the other thing that I would like to highlight is that these thoughts can cross any mind irrespective of age, gender, class, culture, and caste. 

According to the CDC, ​​suicide is a serious public health problem and has a far-reaching impact. That is why it is highly important to address this issue and make necessary changes. 

Talking about making necessary changes, why can’t we make a collective effort to save the ones who need help, including ourselves? As people are dedicating this month of September- A month for Suicide Prevention, I am sure that we are ready to find ways to save someone we love.

How To Be There For Your Loved Ones? (September- A month for Suicide Prevention)

Being there for someone may sound easy, but honestly, it isn’t, especially when there are turmoils in your life. In that case, I always believe in just making sure that you get help for yourself first and also lend your shoulder to the one who needs it. 

Trust me; your presence can make a difference. Other than your presence, there are many things that you can do. Let me share some of them that I really believe in, and you can pick those that are helpful to you or your loved ones. 

1. Be All Ears

Legends have always mentioned the power of listening to someone whom you love. I call this a part of venting out, and it is necessary to allow people to vent out in front of you. For this, you need to make space for the other person and also make them aware that they can always come to you and share their feelings. 

Again, this needs to be done frequently because, drawing from my experiences, there have been days where I know that my friends are beside me to hear me, yet I still felt alone and lonely. 

2. Accept The Not Okay Days

This goes for you as well. The one thing that you need to do is accept the not-okay days. You cannot let one bad day take over your peace. So, just forget and move on, and for that, you need to understand that even bad days do not stay forever. Having said that, you also need to understand that people around you have bad days, so be a little kind and show some warmth.

3. Practical Help Comes Handy

Words are not enough, and that is why there must be some actions that can help someone who is fighting the hardest battles of their life. For instance, you can visit the person often and ensure that they are not alone. 

When it comes to practical help for yourself, you can follow small yet effective tasks like shopping, going to the park, visiting nearby places, and more. Just remember that there are a hell of a lot of options that are helpful. As they say, movements are important even when it comes to suicidal thoughts.  

4. Distract To Attract Positivity

One of my closest friends advised me to find some good distractions to overcome my negative thoughts. And I would admit that this was one of the best pieces of advice that actually helped me to come out from one of the darkest places of my life. 

So, distract yourself and put your energy into good things. Do not let your mind travel to unnecessary places that may kill your will to live. I always found myself listening to music (Taylor Swift) or writing something for my Instagram, and that was my way of distracting myself from negative thoughts and adding value to my life. 

5. Normalise Crying

I wish I could cry every time I was hurt. Even today, when I am having a rough day, I feel like my throat is choking, and that is because, subconsciously, I am avoiding crying. I wish that I had learned the art of crying. However, it is never too late, so next time you see me cry, don’t interrupt. Another thing that I can suggest to you is to ensure people around you are comfortable with shedding their tears and being vulnerable. And this goes the other way around as well. Make sure that you have those people who can be your safe space. 

I still remember the day when I had a terrible day, and I called my friend in the middle of work. Over the call, I cried without saying anything. I did not mention why I was breaking down, and thankfully, he did not ask and allowed me to empty myself. 

6. Do Not Dismiss Irrational Emotions

One thing that we always do is dismiss irrational emotions. However, with time, these emotions pile up and take a negative form. So, it is always better to acknowledge these emotions from the very start. However, do not accept it. Tell yourself that these thoughts and emotions are not important and are just temporary. 

7. Constant Follow Up

Keep checking on your people. Just do it. Call them, visit them, hang out with them. Constant follow-up is important. 

8. Sometimes, Avoid Giving Suggestions Or Advice

Trust me, many days, I just want someone to sit and listen to my rant without saying a word. And that is okay. All you have to do is listen and avoid giving advice because I am not looking for help but someone to hear me out without any judgments. 

Seek Some Help If Needed | September- A month for Suicide Prevention

If you feel like something is taking over your mind in a negative way, seek some help. Moreover, if you find your loved ones not being their true self and being a little off the track often, lend them your hands. The iniviative of celebrating September- A month for Suicide Prevention is again done to ensure that people are aware that suicide can be avoided.

I would also suggest you take some professional help when things feel out of hand. There is no shame if you go to therapy or a doctor to understand why your thoughts and emotions are adulterated with negativity. 

You Are Not Alone! Always remember this! I have been through this along with millions of people. We all made it through, and you will, too. 

This made me think about all the people associated with my life from a very different perspective. The more I read the book, the more conflicting feelings I was experiencing. However, by the end of the book, I could understand how all interpersonal relationships are the reason behind our day-to-day issues and misery. 

Let me tell you more about this concept because I know you have also always felt super overwhelmed while dealing with your interpersonal relationships. Below we will discover ‘Why Interpersonal Relationships Are Always So Overwhelming And Heartbreaking?’

What Is The Definition Of Interpersonal Relationship?

If you look online for the definition of Interpersonal Relationships, it is quite simple – an interpersonal relationship is a social association, connection, or affiliation between two or more people. 

The interesting thing about humans is that we can make as many interpersonal relationships as we want. I mean, we have friends, lovers, colleagues, neighbors, relatives, and so many other relationships. Each relationship has an effect on our lives, even the distant ones.

It is more like the web as we are connected to so many people at the same time. This helps us to stay attached to our community and gives us a sense of belongingness.  The saddest part of being a human is that we cannot live without these interpersonal relationships, yet most of the problems are caused by them. 

Trust me, the moment you are able to separate and create healthy boundaries between you and the relationships you have with people; you will be moving towards a peaceful life. 

Why Interpersonal Relationships Are Always So Overwhelming And Heartbreaking?

Some of us often end up in heartbreaking situations and that is because we are so badly trapped in interpersonal relationships. We tend to overlap our tasks with other people’s tasks, and the line gets so blurred that we take in all the stress that is not meant for us. 

For instance, you have an opinion about certain things, and during a discussion, you express the same. Now, what most of us do is try to prove ourselves right. It is more like imposing our opinions onto others, and somehow, when it does not happen as we plan, we get offended. 

Look closely; here, our task is just to express our opinion, and whether the opinion should be accepted or not is another individual task. 

If I had to give a more relatable example, then I would say that many of us have an urge to always be liked. So, whenever we meet someone we are always looking for their validation. We are always stuck in thoughts about whether the person likes us or not, and if not, we cannot resist ourselves from not knowing the reason behind the same. 

Once we discover the reasons, we let ourselves believe that their reasons are true, ending up in self-doubts. See, how self-destructive is this?

What happens next is something we already know. Many times, we get insecure about ourselves or get agitated over small things. We end up in a toxic relationship, or sometimes we get trapped in our toxic patterns. 

Now, I am sure you will be thinking, why does this happen to you, and how can you sort this out? No one wants to lose the peace of their minds and still wants to live with people.  

You will be surprised to know that such incidents happen because we do not separate our tasks. Then, there are other factors that also exist that act as barriers in interpersonal relationships. And this is how our interpersonal relationships, which are meant for our survival, become the reason for the destruction of our peaceful life. 

What are the barriers to Interpersonal Relationships?

Just now we discussed how interpersonal relationships are the reasons for some major problems. Now, let’s see what the barriers of interpersonal relationships are that bring so much friction.

1. Different Thoughts

It is not a secret that everyone has different thoughts and opinions. Now, the difference in thoughts can bring rifts between interpersonal relationships. One thing that we always miss is that even with differences in opinions, there can be peace. 

You may have heard of the phrase ‘agree to disagree’ and that is something we all must incorporate in our lives. Another thing that I personally prefer is putting myself in others’ shoes, which helps me understand where the other person is coming from. 

2. Past Experiences

The worst thing we humans do is carry our pasts on our shoulders. That is where we take all the happiness and dump it. This clinging to the past stops us from creating a valuable interpersonal relationship. We tend to judge people and follow the old patterns. Trust me, this makes us more toxic and harms our relationships. 

3. Miscommunication

Miscommunication leads to misunderstandings between people, and today, we all are always miscommunicating our feelings and thoughts. We have become a master at masking our emotions and not conveying what we feel to the other person so that we not only fool others but our own selves. In the end, there is no truth left between people, and we feel betrayed. 

4. Not Separating The Task

Have you ever worried about something which is not under your control? I mean, what about the days when you were stressed about the person who was not being kind to you or the person who did not reciprocate your efforts? 

I know that we always overthink so many things that we always take up extra work that is not even our cup of tea. That is where we start acting for the other person, and all the problems start to build up. We do not separate the tasks, and every problem becomes a part of your life, even if it is not your problem in the first place. 

5. The difference in the way of interpreting situations

Surprising Truth: The way you think may not be the same way I think. However, we both can be right, right? It is just the way how we interpret situations. This difference in interpretation starts disagreements, leading to arguments, which eventually bring tensions in the interpersonal relationships. 

Are Interpersonal Relationships important?

Yes, interpersonal relationships are super important. It is like fuel to our social life. It is a basic survival need, and one needs to ensure the creation of healthy interpersonal relationships that promote better well-being of each other. 

What are the limitations of Interpersonal Relationships?

Sometimes, the relationships we make in our lifetime become the reason for our misery and unhappiness. The limitations of interpersonal relationships are quite vast. That is why you need to work on it every day. And by working on it, I mean not only your relationship with others but working on yourself, too. 

It may get rough from time to time again, but you have to move forward. Sometimes, you may leave people, or maybe people will leave, and that is what the real truth is. Having said all that, let’s have a brief look at all the limitations of Interpersonal Relationships problems: 

1. One Gets Lost In Communication: During every issue related to interpersonal relationships, if things are not well communicated, many misunderstandings can arise. Eventually, the person gets lost in the communication, and later on, he/she finds it difficult to convey anything. 

2. Isolation Looks Appealing: I am sure that after every heavy argument with your people, you get a feeling of leaving everything and just disappearing. Trust me, I have been at the same place where I just wanted to leave everything and never come back. 

3. Unstable Moods: Mood swings are one thing, and then there is instability in moods. It does not happen just like that, but it has a trigger point. And that trigger point is somewhere generated with the previous interpersonal relationship issues. 

4. Dip In Self-Confidence: Now, think of a person who has many conflicts with people around them. Do you think that this person would be able to reflect positivity and self-confidence in themselves? Obviously not, because what you are experiencing outside becomes your inner part, and the irony is that the outside experience is created with actions that our inner self initiates. It is more like a labyrinth of life. 

5. Jealousy Becomes Your Nature: When there is a dip in confidence, you think less of yourself. Hence, you start befriending jealousy. Now, everyone is a threat to you and if you are not validated by people around you, jealousy fumes inside you. 

6. Disrespecting Of Boundaries: The one mistake that we always make is disrespecting someone’s boundaries. That happens when there is a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding between people. Often, we cross the lines that we should not because we have never been taught about the same thing. And when conflicts arise, we always overlook the fact that we are crossing the boundaries, which leads to toxicity. 

7. Insecurity Blooms: The funniest part of having conflicts with people is that our inner self gets damaged. And that is where the biggest demon starts flourishing. One gets caught in the maze of insecurities, and one’s soul never settles in one place or thing. 

How do you ensure that you have a healthy Interpersonal Relationship with people?

There is no such tool guide for creating a healthy interpersonal relationship. You need to find a way that helps you to grow positively. Just ensure that you keep yourself as a priority and then fulfil others’ expectations. The moment you hold someone or any relation above you, you are most likely to lose yourself. 

How do you separate your and others’ tasks?

When it comes to separating the task, you need to ask one question only – “Whose task is this?” When you ask this question to yourself, you will be able to look at the problems from a different perspective. This allows you to transfer the responsibility to the right person. 

If I am saying separating the tasks, that does not mean that you need to act selfish and not be a team player. Just create a boundary so that you are not affected by things that are not supposed to stay on your shoulder. Simply shrug it off and focus on what you are meant to do. 

At the start, it would be really difficult. You may come out as a very arrogant person to your loved ones. Nevertheless, this separation of tasks will not only help you but will also make your people independent as well. And this thing goes both ways. Make sure that you are not burdening someone with something that you are supposed to do. 

It is very likely that when we live with people, we are co-dependent, but being codependent and taking over someone else’s tasks are two completely different things. 

So, whenever you come across a situation where your interpersonal relationships are involved, ask yourself, ‘Whose task is this’? The answer will help you to understand whether you must meddle in between or dismiss the same. 

A friendly advice – make it as polite as possible. Because people like me who are emotionally connected may find it very harsh and cry over it for the whole night.  

Last Words…

The fact that every single problem and distress in our lives is caused by interpersonal relationships may be concerning. I would also not agree with this in my earlier days, but when I started separating my tasks, I felt less anxious on a daily basis. 

If you want to gain in-depth knowledge of the subject, I would suggest you read the book The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi. The way the book takes you through the whole concept is magical. 

Now, I will take your leave. Thank you for reading this far; it really means a lot. If you have a couple of seconds, put down your views below in the comment section. I will be coming soon with more such concepts and discussions where we will unravel life confusion and complications. 

You can also try subscribing to the newsletter, where I will be disturbing you with similar content. See you later, and hold onto hope, folks!